Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize