my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
