i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
