Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
