Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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