my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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