Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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