Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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