Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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