I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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