i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
