who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
