in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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