dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
