I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
this will be a night to untag.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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