Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
