What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
