well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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