the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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