At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
