I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
