I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
