Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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