when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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