Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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