your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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