I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
