You're completely useless in the revolution.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
