new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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