They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
