i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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