YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
