I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think your dad took our porno
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
