i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
