If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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