mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
