I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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