): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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