normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
