Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
this is an emotional support booty call
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
