her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
