just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize