Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
