in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
