I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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