When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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