i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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