This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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