Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
