Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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