PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can text with my tongue
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
