singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
