He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
