i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
